You can cry all you want to...i don't care how much

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 04:31:31 GMT

dear everyone,
i have a new livejournal! hoorah! so, ADD ME! almosthorrific
I started adding some people who were on my friends list. but then, i decided that if people really wanna be on my list and get to read my livejournal, they can add me themselves and i will add them back! so, get to it kiddiez!
x's and o's

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 02:59:11 GMT

dear the world.
will someone PLEASE give me an invite code?? PLEASE?!?!

Sun, 17 Aug 2003 02:35:42 GMT

At 3:33AM the clocks are ringing
As a young couple has sex
For the fourth time that night.
In the next room over,
A boy passes out
Staring at pictures of the
Girlfriend he misses.
And down the hall
And up the stairs,
A girl sits alone
On the leather sofa.
Staring at the blinds
That cover the bay window.
She's looking at it
Wondering what's outside;
If the window was open for her
What would she see?
Maybe then she could be
Happy enough to drift asleep.
Knowing that there would be
Someone to wake up to.
But there isn't
So she blinks her eyes and
Memorizes the blinds.

Thu, 17 Jul 2003 16:23:47 GMT

does anyone know a boy by the name of Sebastian? between the ages of 17 and 21? And is he single? Because...i want to fall in love with a boy named Sebastian. Any help would be neat.

Tue, 15 Jul 2003 02:49:30 GMT

I saw your picture before i knew you
I knew you before i met you
Inside and out i loved you
Before i got to touch you
Before i heard your voice,
I could tell what you would say to me:
The same thing everyone else has said to me.
You'd see my picture as a glossy 4x5
Never wondering what's inside
A pretty face to show your friends
My words mean nothing
You'd rather i be a silent film
With subtitles that you'd choose not to read.

Mon, 14 Jul 2003 22:59:27 GMT

i took the knife you gave me,
dragged it across my skin
but i won't give you the satisfaction
of pushing it in.
i won't let you mean
anything to me
you're dead and gone
close the door behind you
i don't want to see the path you chose.
call me what you want
and say what you will
you're nothing to me now
but a thought that makes me ill.
the words you speak
are meant to burn,
but i guess nothing hurts
when you've never felt
anything but pain.
countless memories
of grassy fields
and endless car rides
are washed away
with all the meaningless
promises you made.

Wed, 11 Jun 2003 16:23:44 GMT

i'm bored.
all dressed up with no where to go.
with the exception of the doctor's at 1:40. and i don't think they care if i look cute or not...cuz, i think that's illegal. and, they're all girl nurses and doctors. booo.
i would like to know, ricky, when it is that you get the nemofish movie? cuz...i wanna watch it. again. and again. and again. and again.
yaritza and i are getting married.
my legs are soft. and i still need a massage. and i have not recieved any offers. sigh sigh SIGH.
this kid jon, he's not allowed to fast. or i'll beat him.

i wish i was a nemofishy.

Tue, 10 Jun 2003 03:53:07 GMT





	
	
	
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How compatible with me are YOU?

dude...me and emily are like...WICKED compatable. like...OVER 100% so. AMAZING.

Tue, 10 Jun 2003 03:29:10 GMT

hahahahaha if i had a bunny, i'd SOOOOO walk it on a leash!

new user picture!

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 18:04:11 GMT

dear petey pants,
this one's for you.

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 17:23:18 GMT

You have an entrancing kiss~ the kind that leaves
your partner bedazzled and maybe even feeling
he/she is dreaming. Quite effective; the kiss
that never lessens and always blows your
partner away like the first time.

What kind of kiss are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

does anyone else think that the people in that picture are REALLY creepy looking?

Mon, 09 Jun 2003 17:17:34 GMT

i seemed to have enjoyed myself rather a lot yesterday. allie and i decided to take an adventure out to southbridge and try to find sean's house. well, we got lost a bit and had to ask the scary guy at the gas station who turned out not to be that scary after all where to go. and we founded sean's abode. i ate the sweettarts we got at the gas station like it was my job (all except for the purple, orange and yellow ones which i gave out to random assorted people) so, me and allie were sorta pretty anti social at first...cuz like, we didn't know people. even though, i sorta did, but i assume that people dislike me so i don't talk to them as i do not wish to further inconvenience anyone. I'm dumb like that. I've decided that I have a crush on Ricky. And, I'm still convinced that Damon should be in love with me. And write me songs. And bring me flowers. Well, I guess anyone can give me flowers. Because, i just want someone to bring me flowers. I'm dumb like that. Sean was dreamy. As always. He decided to tackle me...and...i coulda died. His mommy was really nice. I liked her. Yaritza was there. And Allie wouldn't believe anyone that Jim was 18. I met annieem and she's super cute and rad to the max. She had a vegitales shirt on. Which made me think of my hospital visit in which i watched vegitales until they took my tv away...
hummm...what else?
some boy in another kids livejournal said something about me being wicked emo...makes me think back to Dom conversations about being called emo...I miss that boy.
I've decided that Jon's going to hang out with me. He doesn't have a choice. Well, i guess he does. But...whatever.
Tomorrow, i'm going to UMass Amherst with Eileen and Ricky to go see Allie's state semifinals game and then i think we're going to 6 flags afterwards. Should be fun...

Sean should stop being so fucking gorgeous. It would make this A LOT easier...

Thu, 05 Jun 2003 03:56:02 GMT

how is it possible
to drown in the rain
when you're not
standing in it?
to choke
with nothing
obstrucing your throat?
to break
without being struck?
to fall
while sitting very still?
how do you die
yet still have a pulse?
have a heart
that loves to easily,
that's how.

Wed, 04 Jun 2003 15:42:50 GMT

on friday night (june 6th) the drive is playing with senses fail at the Knights of Columbus in Attleboro @ 6pm. Anyone wanna take me?

Fri, 30 May 2003 16:21:01 GMT

I don't
I won't
I can't
Believe this
But I know
Your words
Were insincere
Lying your way
To break my heart.
You're not the first
To fuck me over
And probably
Won't be the last
But it still hurts
When what you want
So bad to be right
Is so incredibly wrong.
And it sucks
To know
That you're
No different from
Any of the rest
Same story
Same lies
About never wanting
To make me cry.
You've gotten your glory
So go ahead
Try and destroy me
And we'll see
If i can get up again.

Mon, 26 May 2003 01:50:39 GMT

a hole
a hole
make me whole again
leap of faith
let me make it
i've never really believed in god
i'm falling to my knees and praying
praying for this to happen
break in
break in
put on the brakes
can't make my way
through your daedal thoughs
didn't think i'd sleep again
i'm drifting off into slumber
drifting off to you.

Sun, 25 May 2003 22:39:26 GMT

what you said
got me thinking
too fast
too hard
don't wanna get burned
don't wanna end up the same
wanna be something special
i want to be something infinite
but only if we can be infinite together.

rawr. meow. i need a kitten. gimme.

Tue, 20 May 2003 00:21:42 GMT

You thought you were so worthless
But then why did I keep coming back for more?
Time showed me my mistake
I was wrong for chasing you,
Now it’s you chasing me.
But while you were gone
I grew fond of this emptiness
So take me for all you want
We always were a “you and I” without the me
Always meant something
But mostly nothing.
Girls like me are easy to find
But you were priceless, one of a kind.
One more question before I go
How does it feel to find you’re a dime a dozen?

Sun, 18 May 2003 23:29:39 GMT

Nobody likes a good girl.
Get me drunk and climb on top.
Maybe you’ll like me then.
Everyone likes a drunken whore.
Aren’t you proud of yourself?
I’m selling myself out for you.
Does it make you happy
To know I’m compromising everything I’ve ever believed
So that you’ll be the last to go?
You’re the end of the story
The series finale.
That’s it for me
New book, new plot lines
Fuck me so hard
That I won’t remember this tomorrow.

Sun, 27 Apr 2003 01:54:16 GMT

These chapsticked and chap lips
Have so much to say
They'll whisper secrets into the wind
Catching in trees and floating through open windows
Blowing stray leaves and pushing barren swings
Screaming words of angst into the river
Drowning out sounds of cheerful birds
And flowing anxiously between fingers
Sending gleeful shouts up to the clouds
Billowing in the wind in the form of
Unicorns and turtles and ice cream cones.
These chapsticked and chap lips
Won't open up to ears that hear,
Just to the places where words can't be found.

Sat, 26 Apr 2003 03:12:21 GMT

The stars came falling all around me
The universe opened to swallow me whole
I reached out to you with broken arms
My broken wings were failing me
Sort of like they are now
This time, it's different than the times before
I always had you to turn to
You to trust
The trust is gone.
Disapeared without a trace.
Ironic, isn't it, that i was supposedly the one with the big mouth
But i never ran to someone with your problems
I let you solve them at your leisure
Hoping you'd do the same for me
You didn't.
As grains fall from one end to the other
Things get sorted out after a while
They fall into place, where they belong
Then someone like you comes along
And shakes everything up
Just for fun.
With his help,
You ripped the healing wings out of my back
Stepped on my fingers that clung to the ledge
And when i hit the bottom
You'll deny that it's your fault.

Sat, 19 Apr 2003 01:28:11 GMT

If i were to be playing Parcheesi
(A Royal Game of India)
Would that make me an Indian princess?
And if it was
Would i get to have a pow wow?
If i did get to have a pow wow,
You'd be invited.
So grab your mocassins
And come to my pow wow dancy party!

Thu, 17 Apr 2003 00:14:49 GMT

Halcyon days
Teasing us
Holding summer just out of reach
And breaking us
With tenebrous snow clouds.
You can hear summer
In the susurrus of the bare branches.
Seven months of unbearable snow
Have made us esurient beings
To feel the verdant and lush grass
Bellow our deprived feet.
The days are growing longer
The gloaming coming later
Animals emerging from hibernation
Well rested and displaying so much vim
Though snow flakes may still be falling,
I do aver that summer shall be here soon.
And if my palpable assumtion be made false
I shall declare this a most catostrophic,
And extremely disheartening year.

Mon, 07 Apr 2003 02:15:30 GMT

i'll never get the chance
you're not ever here anymore
always around
but never near
i'll never get a chance to do what i want
because i'm too afraid
to do it when i can.
and then i sit and dwell on it
because you're not here anymore
you're gone, moved on.
to someone who knows
and will take the risk.
someone better, someone smarter
someone prettier.
someone not me.
and you'll live happily ever.
but not me
cuz i never could take what i wanted.

Sun, 02 Mar 2003 20:08:07 GMT

you only get one chance to shine.
just for tonight, i want to sparkle.
And be more than just a glare in the shadows.
I want everything
Just for a few hours.
To have an aura,
An inexplicable glow
With such intensity
That will make you remember me
And never want to say goodbye.
I want to possess an unstoppable beauty
Just for tonight
So we could know
How far from perfection
I have grown to be.